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dad

there he is
my chest expands
talking to a group of men

when I walk up to him, he won’t be real
never right in front of me, always steps away

there is a desperate scream that comes out bound
i am listening to a child, dying
there is horror that the sound is coming out of my own mouth

and it is the sadness trying to kill me
it is the sadness saying that there will be a hole forever
that i will never understand what to do with it
to know where love ought to go

and tomorrow it will be gone

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