someday, june will bear spores

it’s a cow-head thing in drawings but,
in pictures it looks like any organ
a red sack and tubes that glimmer wet under light

connected to one thing, or another
a part of something else; alone, nothing at all
is there something to it?

when this bag fills and bursts…
i’ve been there. i forget to yell, so angry at my mother, but,
the good screams come from you

sometimes we are afraid there’s
not enough to go around
what about if there’s no more ______ ?
what would all this be like without your sound?

take it from me
june, that’s what i learned the woman’s cry is

an inside a mother’s fear: do you pity me for doing it? 

 

hope is a hole

hope is a hole
the trim of that hole is a rope
a rope can hold, keep or contain
what’s known and oppositional

the perimeter of that hole is lips
where a mouth ends is not the mouth
any more at all
the hole is not what it was

and the hole is invisible, but how
hope is the consummate visual

where the whole is made of nothing
i find more peaceful to eat in silence

 

 

 

 

the advent

we had the answer long ago,
when the bed arrived.
harnessed between posts, the heavy sack of feather
made me dizzy that first night up off the ground
and i awakened often.

the ceiling called my attention now, and so close it appeared,
i thought more about my head, and where it went in darkness.

you slept further away,
curiously, willing to crawl farther,
in the morning to touch me.
with all that room, we realized what had always been there,
just waiting, empty,
and our dreams were not what they had been.

can i answer you?
the history of time is the dream.

the other side is full of breath,
this…pulse-music organizes into being,
and so coming out your mother
is emerging packless
to a valley without echo.

old rags

kneeling in the road, the prostrate thing
had a tail gently lifted

a bound pair of hooves
stuck from an eyelet
through a coarse web of lavender yolk

shaking, the steam from inside her
puffed onto my hands

she spooked and my pooling mouth
choked up, she urged to get off
to the ditch or beyond

for hours she complained high in her throat
and the thing had hardly moved
only at the shins now and pulsing
as she pushed

the knife was wrapped in old rags there

baby

and you heard my voice,
that’s your daddy

i put my breast up to
your mouth,
slippery little fish

studying his face in yours, at once
i saw a nameless thing
i did not know;
and rejoiced aloud,
this was yours alone!

daddy asked you to
look at all these people
to see you were born adored

he showed you to the room
of faces, crying like a baby

they reached out to touch
your feet and your fingers
waving and red, spread wide

i know wanting you is selfish
for to see you
is to see god and us at once
into pieces